“I don’t know how much I can say, because I don’t want my wife to be mad at me,” Middleditch said. “Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.’ To her credit, instead of saying … ‘I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ “
Not only did they figure it out, but the 37-year-old actor said “To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage.”
“We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows,” he said. “By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.”
Middleditch said being “part of the lifestyle” wasn’t something he had aspired to.
“I self-deprecatingly call myself a pervert, but that’s not what it is,” he said. “I just like it. I’m sexual.”
Marriage to Gates, 32, didn’t change that, he said.
“I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different,’ ” Middleditch said. “But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks.”
The couple have rules, he said, and function as a unit.
Their arrangement is even lending itself to some creativity.
“It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, ‘All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill,’ ” Middleditch said. “I’m gas, and she’s brakes. This is actually the premise for a comedy series we’re writing together.”